Working out

One of my favorite workout classes primarily uses kettle bells. I still remember the first time I went to it only using the lighter weights for most of the exercises because I was not used to them nor was I strong enough, yet. Over the course of a few months, certain weights began to feel a little too light and so I started to go up in weight of my kettle bell I'd use. After doing that, I'd notice my muscles were a bit sore the next day or two. Yet, when I'd go back to the class, I'd keep going back to that higher weight because it challenged me, it pushed me, and it made me stronger.

We all have seasons that God may be asking us(or just handing to us) the heavier kettle bell to grow and become stronger. It can be a lengthy and challenging process to go through carrying this heavier weight. We can grow weary, especially if we've been picking up the heavier weight for a long time and not "feel" or "see" progress. However, I assure you, in time, you will walk away stronger than you were before and see the growth that occurred in that time.

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Father,

Sometimes we are given a heavier weight in our lives to use. We humbly ask that you help us use the weight so to grow stronger in our faith and not grow weary. In your Heavenly name,

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Being in tune

When I was in band we would always take some time at the beginning of class to get in tune with another. Every person would listen and then play the same note as a solo against the tuner for a few moments and then it would be the next person's turn. If the instrument was too flat or too sharp different adjustments were made to the instrument like pulling a slide or adjusting a mouthpiece. And depending upon the day, certain instruments may have to make more significant changes. (On really cold days brass instruments had more changes as they tended to be more flat.)

Though it took some time, it made a difference for when we began to rehearse different musical pieces or perform. Musicians have to listen well so they know what pitch they are looking for and then try to duplicate that as best as possible. If instruments were out of tune, the piece would not sound quite right no matter how well each instrument was playing on the right count.

Sometimes in our spiritual lives we can be playing the notes and on the right count beautifully, but we are not in tune. Do we take time  regularly to listen to the sound that God is giving to us? Do we try to match that pitch or do we ignore it and do our own thing? What adjustments need to be made to be in tune with God?

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Lord, 
Help me to listen well to the note you are giving to me to get in tune with you. Allow me the graces I need to not only listen, but the ability to make any adjustments I need to so I can follow you. 
Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Tantrums

We are in the delightful age and stage with our daughter of starting to throw tantrums when she can't get something that she wants or something not good for her is taken away. Recently, she has become quite vocal when I move her from the toilet she is trying to play in or take away a glitter Christmas tree ornament she is trying to eat. ::sighs:: She will cry, run away, or sometimes lay on her back kicking her legs. David and I tell her "No," "Not safe," or "Let's find something else" in these situations and distract with a toy or something she can have. It usually lasts less than a minute and then she moves on and is back to her happy self. 

I realize looking at her doing this, I can do the exact same thing. Well, maybe I do not look like a toddler crying on the floor, but spiritually I can be this way. Spiritually I can cry to God lamenting how a prayer was answered. I will cry to God "But I wanted it this way and you did not make it this way!" He responds as any loving parent, "No, this is not good for you." or "No, I have something that will be better for you." or "Just wait a minute."

As the parent it is easy to see why you don't want your toddler to play in the toilet or eat a glitter ornament. But, as a child it is hard to see what the problem is with it. As God's children, it can sometimes be hard to see why a prayer was answered in a particular way. God, our Heavenly Father, knows better than we do on how to keep us happy, safe, and healthy.

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Father, 

I can often throw a tantrum when I do not receive an answer to a prayer the way that I want it. Help me to see the way you see to be led to what would be safe and good for your divine plan. In your name,

Amen. 

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

"Mamma"

A couple of months ago I was taking a walk with my daughter mulling over a situation that I had to take action on that did not have a clear cut solution. So, on the walk I'm asking God for guidance and help on what I needed to do. It got to a point in my walk that I felt defeated with getting any sort of answer of what I needed to do. Then, I hear my daughter say, "Mamma. Mamma. Mamma."

So, I say, "Yes, baby?" She continued to say "Mamma. Mamma. Mamma." I saw she was also pointing and decided to figure out what she saw. She was pointing to a statue of Mary on the front porch of a house we had walked past many times before, but I never had noticed her there. In that moment, I realized I needed "Mamma's" help and asked for Mary's intercession.

I'd love to say I had the perfect solution given to me in that moment, but I didn't. I did however have a deep sense of peace that it would work out. I've been guilty of forgetting about Mary and how she is one of our best intercessors - after all, she was the one who asked Christ in her own humble way to do His first miracle at the Wedding at Cana. Mary can intercede for us no matter the situation. Let's not forget to ask "Mamma" for help when we need it most!

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Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. 

Mary, Queen of Heaven and of Earth, pray for us.

Mary, most humble, pray for us. 

Mary, our Heavenly Mamma, pray for us.

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Cleaning up the mess

We are in the age and stage of life that our daughter is going to make messes that we are going to have to clean up. It is just inevitable being a year old and walking all over the place with all her toys and feeding herself. After she is put down for the night David and I will clean up the scattered toys laying all over the house and put them back where they belong as well as the mess from dinner. Sometimes we laugh at where we find items (a bottle of puffs in the corner of the bathroom and Joseph from her Nativity in the baby stroller) and other times we groan at the seemingly massive size of the mess (literally every toy out of the basket and every book pulled from the shelf). But, no matter what, everything gets put back to where it belongs...even if it seems to take forever. One day our daughter will be more of an active participant in cleaning, but for now she really needs her parents to help with this. She does not know or understand how to do it on her own.

How often in our own lives do we find ourselves in a mess that we need our Heavenly Father to help us clean up because we cannot do it on our own? Our lives are often messy, but no matter what type of mess we make (intentionally or unintentionally) God will help us with His grace to clean up the pieces and put everything back. Even if every day it seems to be the same huge mess, God will take the necessary time to clean it up. 

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Thank you Lord for helping clean up the messes I make each day. Give me the graces I need to work through the messes of daily life and put things back where they belong. 

In your name,

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

A Plate of Thanksgiving Dinner

I saw a wonderfully hilarious meme floating around Facebook right before Thanksgiving. The essence of it was "I'm so glad to be spending 6 hours cooking a Thanksgiving meal where all my kid will eat is a dinner roll." Talking with some friends who have young children they all seem so share the same sentiment.

Thankfully, my daughter ate a bit more than just her bread, but you could totally tell what foods she liked more. (Cranberry sauce, Brussels sprouts, bread, pumpkin pie, and pumpkin roll) She did not prefer any turkey with gravy, peas and carrots, and the mushroom stuffing/dressing. But, still, we offered a little of everything to try. Even as adults, we may put all the Thanksgiving foods on our plate and pretend to eat the things we like the least all the while sneaking seconds of those things we like the most.

God's love to us is a beautiful plate of Thanksgiving Dinner presented to us each new day. As much as we'd like to believe love is like a Hallmark Christmas movie where everyone ends in a lovey-dovey, cheery, everything is perfect, and happy way - this is not reality. Sometimes love can taste or feel a bit dry. Sometimes love can taste a bit overdone. Sometimes love is plain and simple in how it tastes and other times it is rich and flavorful. And sometimes, love looks messy or unappealing but turns out to be the best thing on the plate.

God gives the opportunity feast in His love in so many various forms and ways. And I'll be brutally honest...some taste better than others. I much rather have the sweet and endearing form of love (read: getting my daily quota of hugs and spending time with David and my daughter) rather than the "It will be good for you...now eat your veggies" form of love (read: cleaning up a giant mess that my daughter made after just cleaning up that area moments before or not receiving an answer to a prayer in the way I wanted). But we need to accept graciously all the ways God feeds us His love and asks us to feed love to others with whatever ingredients we have. When we skip the veggies and only eat the pie, we will miss out on other delightfully delicious opportunities God has presented for each of us to devour.

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Lord, 

You give so much love and goodness to me each new day to feast on. Sometimes I am stubborn and do not want to try the different ways you want to love me and to love others. Help me to be open to whatever you offer to me and what you want me to offer to others with a humble heart. 

In your name, 

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Using a pacifier

There was a day over the summer that my daughter did not want to go down for her afternoon nap. She was incredibly fussy and I needed to pull out all the tricks in my bag to get her to sooth and calm for sleeping. One of the strategies used at that time was shooshing in her ear and offering her a pacifier.

Seated on the floor I'm cradling my daughter, putting a pacifier in her mouth, and shooshing in her ear. My daughter leaned to the side and grabbed a loose pacifier from the floor and tried to put it in my mouth. Yep, that's right, my daughter decided I needed a pacifier too. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole scenario.

This particular nap time made me think how sometimes I have gotten so preoccupied talking to God I do not make enough time to listen. I keep shooshing in God's ear about my worries/needs/concerns/etc when I really should put a pacifier in my own mouth so I can hear Him whisper in my ear the responses to all those intentions. Now, don't get me wrong, God wants to hear my needs/worries/desires/etc, but I think I spend too much time talking and not listening. When was the last time you went to God to simply be present and listened?

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Today Lord, I will put the pacifier in my own mouth so I can hear you whisper in my ear to sooth me. Teach me to listen to your voice. Amen. 

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Symphony parts

Recently, David and I were able to go see the symphony for a date night. I always enjoy hearing a the full symphony play and create such amazing music. There were several phenomenal soloist who performed that evening all with such dedication, passion, and who sounded fabulous. However, it was not the soloist that caught my attention.

Every musician that sat behind the soloists out in front played each of their parts with such passion and focus. They added such a fullness and support for the soloists' parts. Without the symphony behind the soloists, the piece would not sound the same. Yet, it can be really hard to be playing whole notes for most a piece while watching everyone "ooo" and "ahh" over the more interesting soloist part. It can also be hard when you are in it to hear how much of a difference you are making.

We are each an instrument in God's beautiful symphony. Yes you! There are times that He asks us to play the whole notes for the entirety of a piece with humility while others get the more interesting solos. And there are times that we are sitting (resting) for most of a piece only to play a handful of notes towards the end. And there are times we are asked to come forward to play the big solo. Without each unique and beautiful part, without you, the piece would not be the same.  There is such a bigger masterpiece God has in mind that we cannot truly begin to fathom.

So, if you are feeling a bit like a background sound right now and not sure if you are meaningful...know that you are adding to the fullness of God's work. You are adding such beauty to His masterpiece by simply living out your role and using your gifts/talents. And if you are feeling like you have no part to play, remember each musician needs to take a moment to breath and rest. Take that breath, because maybe God is just preparing you for a solo or something that will take great dedication and focus.

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Lord, 
You remind me that sometimes my role in this world is not to be the soloist out in front, but to be in the background and add to the fullness of your masterpiece. When it is my time for a solo, give me the graces I need to play my part well and with humility. Thank you Lord for allowing me the opportunity and graces to be part of your great work. In your most Holy name,
Amen. 

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Christ's light behind the shadows

One night I found myself taking out the trash and recycling to the cans behind our house and forgot to turn on the light. Though I had been behind our house a thousand times, there were eerie shadows that quickened my pace back to the house. Looking out from our living room window at the shadows that frightened me, they were things that in the daylight are not scary - trees, fences, shed, etc. But, just something about the shadows made it frightening.

In order for a shadow to form, a solid figure has to block the light that is coming from behind it. What is left in front of the object is a shadow. So, even in the shadows there is light.

This got me thinking about some of the scary shadows that can form in our daily lives. Christ's light is always shining, but sometimes things block it and what remains are shadows to frighten us. How many times have I quickened my pace from something that was bringing me closer to the light of Christ and holiness because it was frightening in my mind? How many times has the truth and beauty gotten twisted by my own lack of receptivity and solidness? How many times have I simply turned my back on the light of Christ because of my own sinfulness?

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Father in Heaven,

There are many good things you put in our lives and through my own weaknesses, sinfulness, or fears they can often get twisted and seem like dark shadows. Please help me truly look at the shadow and see the light coming from behind it - the light of Christ. Give me the graces I need to not be afraid.

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

How Hugh Jackman inspired me to go to confession

You may have heard of a movie called The Greatest Showman that was inspired by PT Barnum's life and the creation of the Barnum and Bailey Circus. The soundtrack to the movie is absolutely amazing! I love all the music from the movie, but I can't get through a day without listening to "From Now On" at least a half dozen times-no joke!

Without giving too much away about the movie, Hugh Jackman's character realizes while singing this song that he needs to make a change in his life to get back on track. Recently, I decided to look up the lyrics so as to better sing along and the following struck me:

I drank champagne with kings and queens

The politicians praised my name

But those are someone else's dreams

The pitfalls of the man I became

For years and years

I chased their cheers

The crazy speed of always needing more

But when I stop

And see you here

I remember who all this was for

Perhaps it was the season of life I was in when I read these lyrics, but I felt a pull on my heart. How many times had I fallen into a pit because of things I did or did not do for my own selfish reasons? How many times did I crave more of something that was not good for me? What/Who was I chasing after? Oh how I needed to stop, reflect, and seek God. And for me, I needed to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) and make a new commitment with God.

Thankfully I was able to go recently to receive the Sacrament. After my confession I could not get the chorus out of my head that is as follows:

And from now on

These eyes will not be blinded by the lights

From now on

What's waited till tomorrow starts tonight

It starts tonight

And let this promise in me start

Like an anthem in my heart

From now on

Now every time I listen to Hugh Jackman sing this song I think about my need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation and God's mercy and forgiveness. But, also my own part to renew my commitment to Him and let it be in my heart-not just my words. From now on...

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Dear Lord,

Give me the graces I need to not fall back into the pit, avoid the things that take life away from me, or chase after empty promises and things. Please guide me to always see your face in my daily life. Walk with me as I make this new commitment to follow you more closely. 
Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

1st chair tests

Back in middle school and high school I played the french horn. I will never forget our first chair test. For those of you who were not in band, a chair test was a particular piece of music that all the same instruments were given to be given an order for the next concert. Whoever performed it best would be 1st chair, and whoever performed it 2nd best would be 2nd chair, and so on.

My first chair test was in 6th grade after a couple of weeks learning the basics. All we had to do was play a concert F (actually a C for the french horn). After all the horns played we got our placement. Our director told me I was given 1st chair. I was shocked-really me?! After class I asked her why did I deserve 1st and she told me that I had articulated the start of my note well (well enough for a 6th grader...), played the right note, and held it steady.

The next several chair tests I was consistently one of the top chairs. Late in my 6th grade year we had a chair test for a piece that was more challenging. My chair test was not as successful as I would have hoped for, so I was given one of the last chairs. I was so upset with myself and the situation. I practiced like all the dozens of times before, but it did not go the way I thought it would.

There are times in our lives that we pray and do all the right things and those prayers seem to be answered in the way we hoped for. Then, there are times that we do everything right and God gives us an answer we do not like. What I have to remind myself is that God is not a vending machine. It is not a case that I push a button and get what I want every time. There will be times that an answer is "no" or come in a way that I did not anticipate even if I did everything "right."

Thankfully, I did not just give up after that chair test. I continued on and the next time I was one of the top chairs again. As time went on, there were times that I was not the top chair again and there were times I was one of the top chairs. Just like with our prayer life, we have to always press on. Even when it looks bleak and God does not give us the answers we want or were hoping for. His plan is bigger than a single prayer of ours.

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Father in Heaven,

Thank you for all the gifts you have given to me through answered prayers. Give me the graces to accept the prayers that had been answered in a way that I did not like or understand your bigger meaning behind. Allow me the strength to continue to persevere in my prayer. 

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Patron Saint for the year

Have you ever drawn a Saint for the year? This week in one of my women's groups we had the opportunity to prayerfully pick a Saint out of a hat as our patron for the year. The name I had selected was Pope Saint Pius X. I'll be honest, when I drew his name I had no idea who he was and even now I'm still learning about his life. From what I've gotten to read so far, he seems to be a Saint I could use some intercessory prayers from! Looking forward to this year with my patron Saint! :) 

If you'd like to do your own Saint for the year there is an online version of picking one. Check it out here. 

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Thank you Lord for all the Holy men and women who have walked before us! We ask for all the Saints to pray for us here on earth to grow in holiness and love of you Lord!

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Seeing light through the brokenness

With a 1 year old, I have the opportunity to see a lot more of the various places within the church than just the back pew. (Read: My child can get noisy; to settle her and not have to leave the church, we move around.🙂) One place we have been frequently visiting these days while in Mass are all the stained glass windows. Up close, the stained glass looks like simply broken pieces and nothing more.

Eventually, when we get back to our pew, you can see the light streaming through all the pieces. The image they all create together is so beautiful! The jagged edges define and help make the picture what it is - a piece of art. It is not simply broken glass on the wall.

Each one of us has our own brokenness - loss of a loved one, past hurts, our sins, our weaknesses, our bad habits, illness, and the list can go on and on. Regardless of whatever brokenness you have, God shines light through you and uses you to show a unique beauty. Allow God to transform those broken pieces into a masterpiece. The way God may do it in your life may be the total opposite of your family or friends. And perhaps right now, the brokenness is too fresh or too recent that you are still standing right next to it to see the whole image-and that is okay. God puts us right where we need to be.

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Dear God, 

Allow your light to shine through all our brokenness. Allow us the graces to see the beauty in ourselves and others despite the broken parts. 

In your name,

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

For your listening: Art in Me by Jars of Clay 

Playing Peek-A-Boo with Passing Cars

Most days of the week my 1 year old daughter and I go for a walk after getting home from school as a way to unwind and get some fresh air. I get in her in the stroller and if it is cold I wrap a blanket around her before going. Recently on a walk, she decided she was going to use the blanket to play Peek-A-Boo with the cars. She would pull up the blanket over her head and then pull it down and squeal with excitement at the random cars passing by. She was giggling and smiling big doing this for several minutes. After chuckling to myself, I finally told her, "I don't think the drivers know they are playing Peek-A-Boo with you." And yet, she continued to play Peek-A-Boo with the cars.

Then, it dawned on me, sometimes there are amazing things happening around me that God is providing to make me smile or bring me joy but I'm too busy passing by to notice. The little things like the leaves changing to the most vibrant colors or the cool breeze on a warm day to bring some little joys to the day I can easily miss. How many little things do I miss because I'm hustling to the next thing? How many little moments does God reveal Himself to me but miss it?

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Thank you God for the little moments you give to me that make me smile! Thank you for the beautiful fall days with gorgeous trees and great weather. I thank you for a wonderful daughter that helps remind me in the small ways of your love for me. Thank you God for all these amazing blessings you have given to me! 

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth

Under construction

Doesn't it seem that everywhere these days there is construction happening? The main street I drive on for work and church has been having construction the past several months. Our gym is doing some major construction to expand and update for the foreseeable future. Even our daughter's sitter was having some construction completed at her new house before fully moving in.

During times of construction there are unfamiliar detours and unexpected changes. There are also possible delays and potential for frustration as well as annoyances. Sometimes it seems like nothing is being done or has been done in weeks - that pile of rubble is still sitting on the side of the road and there does not seem to be any sign of people working. They said it would be only 2 weeks and it turned into 2 months. The unexpected detour makes your drive significantly longer and causes you to be late.

Once the construction is completed, it is always exciting and a relief. The finished product is usually wonderful and so much better than it was before. We almost have this moment of amnesia forgetting the construction it took to get there and continue on with our lives.

I often think that God has us all under construction for something in our lives to help us become a better version of ourselves. Perhaps we are under construction on improving our habits (i.e. eating a more balanced diet, exercise, etc.) or dealing with a challenge in our family, in our friendships, or at work. There are some times that it feels like God isn't working in our lives, but trust me...in those small ways you cannot even see He is doing so much. Or perhaps God is calling us to go on a detour so we have the opportunity to see and experience something we would not have otherwise. God has all the blue prints and plans knowing full well what the end product for each of us will be. The person that God has in mind for who we can be is even better than we can imagine.

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Lord God,

Help us during our times of construction to be patient with ourselves and others. When we are fearful of the detours you are taking us on because of the unfamiliarity, give us comfort and peace. Help us to remember that there is an ending and that one day we will look back and see how far we have come. Thank you Lord for constantly working in our lives.

Amen.

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Simply a little pencil in God's hand,
Elizabeth