A Mother's Rosary - Sorrowful Mysteries

Truth be told there are times that praying my rosary is hard. Not because of my daughter's rambunctiousness distracting me, but my own heart struggling to be present to the beautiful mysteries with Christ. There was a day when trying to pray the Sorrowful Mysteries (Tuesdays and Fridays traditionally) that motherhood overcame me and my ability to truly focus, so I decided I'd walk those things on my heart with the Lord. What I share with you below is a snapshot of what came to me. I hope it can be a source of prayer for other mamas out there that are struggling to focus on Christ in the midst of chaotic motherhood. 

The First Sorrowful Mystery - The Agony of the Garden

Christ has entered into the garden with his disciples and asks them to pray. Yet, they fall asleep on him - not just once, but 3 times! Despite this, Christ loves his disciples and prays for God's will to be done though fully knowing the events about to take place.

Lord, as a mom, there are times I hide away in a bathroom/pantry/closet to cry and pray. I know that there are dirty dishes in the sink, laundry to be folded, and children needing to be taken to their various activities that are all part of your will for me. With my older children I ask them to help put away their toys or to close the door before running outside to play, but they do not always do what I ask. Despite the work to be done, despite the challenges ahead of me, and despite my children not always doing what I have asked, I know that you are in this garden with me - praying with me. 

The Second Sorrowful Mystery - The Scourging at the Pillar

Christ was taken by the soldiers to be stripped of his garments, beaten, and mocked. He was tortured and did not fight back - not even with a word of hate or malice towards those hurting him. In all this, Christ continued to love. 

Lord, those words of my children saying, "I hate you!" or screaming at me gnaw away at my restless soul. When my children were younger, the physical beating of getting bit, kicked, and pushed away also took a toll on me. You once could not get enough of me and showered me with "I love you mommy!" and gave gifts of flowers from the backyard seem like a lifetime away. I know that in this spiritual and emotional beating you Lord have already walked this path. I know that you can clasp my hands and whisper in this faint mother's heart, "This too shall pass."

The Third Sorrowful Mystery - The Crowning of Thorns

After Christ is beaten, the soldiers place a crown of thorns upon his head. A sign of humiliation and mocking that Christ continues to endure without saying a word against the men doing it to him. 

My Lord, I can feel the crown of thorns being placed on my head when my child becomes the scene in the middle of the store crying because I will not let them grab 30 bags of chips. I can feel the crown of thorns when my child repeats something that should not have come out of my own mouth. Motherhood gives the opportunity to walk in humility with you Lord. When I become embarrassed from the crown of thorns adorned on my head, help me remember that you did not hide it but accepted the moment. Allow me the graces to accept each moment as it comes.

The Fourth Sorrowful Mystery - The Carrying of the Cross

Christ was given a cross to carry to his own death. It was not a cross he asked for or picked out, but simply given to him. Though heavy as the cross was, he carried it and continued to love. 

Lord, sometimes being a mom there are some obvious crosses while other times they are deeply hidden in my heart. The cross of trying to comfort an infant while tending to my school-aged child's homework help needs to the cross of folding the 4th basket of laundry after everyone in the house getting the stomach bug to the worry of will my child be loved by his/her teacher next year after a tumultuous year. I know that you are right with me carrying these crosses and will help me - and for that it makes this weight so much easier to carry.

The Fifth Sorrowful Mystery - The Crucifixion of Christ

After being beaten, humiliated, and carrying a weight that was not asked for but given - the soldiers crucified Christ on the cross. He endured this suffering and died for our sinfulness. 

Lord, there are times that my physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion is overwhelming. My oldest forgot she/he has a project due tomorrow, the baby is sick, and my husband is out of town - but work has to be done. I surrender my whole self to your will to do what I need to do for my children whom I love with my entire being. You have given me the model of this total and free self-giving love - even when it does not seem to be deserved or merited. Lord, when I feel this overwhelming sense of "I don't know if I can give anymore" help me remember how you always gave everything for us. 

Simply a little pencil in God's hand,

Elizabeth